It was a satisfying feeling, walking away from the DMV with a temporary license in hand on that beautiful summer day. The world was going my way. Finally I had the responsibility I had spent all year trying to prove to my parents that I deserved. At first, it was a wonderful thing to say, responsibility, letting it slowly roll off my tongue every time I said it. Once school started, it became a whole different world, and a whole new meaning to that word. When I got my car, everything turned around 180 degrees, completely.

Having a car was not what I expected. It wasn't just there as a comfort, at least not completely. It wasn't going to heat itself and pack itself in the morning. It wasn't going to remember to fill itself up every two weeks and it wasn't going to wash itself. It definitely wasn't going to let me sleep or do last minute homework while it safely drove me to school everyday.

It meant, get yourself up, get your stuff together. Remember your homework and books. Remember the lunch money and the change of clothes for tennis. Don't forget water and your tennis racquet. Get everything in the car, on top of everything else you have to think of in the morning. Because of this, I started making morning "to do" lists.

Having a car means growing up. Now that I already drive myself to and from school and tennis practice, let's just add on another task, shall we? Let's put the planner and the directions to St. August Circle and use it to go to work everyday. Now, after school and practice is over, get to that address (don't get lost like last time), and start your tutoring job for three hours. Afterwards, drive yourself back home. After all of the driving I've done, all on my own, without a parent or GPS, I've memorized all the main streets and some short cuts in town. With a new car, it takes a lot of courage and independence to get yourself around. Also, you have to be alert and aware of what you are doing. Don't get distracted and zone out. Now you've missed your turn - turn around and go back. Got it?

Having a new car means not being foolish. It means planning out your day, sometimes even your entire week in advance. With the new car, new job and what's that word-.responsibility-.you have less time to hang out with your friends. You have less time to gossip on the phone and watch TV for hours. You realize - there are more short calls about homework than long calls about boyfriends. There's more, "I can't, I have to work and then do homework." There's more not caring about all of the drama that meant your whole life last year. This year, it's if I forget something at home, I'll have to waste time and gas to run home and get it....

Oh, and don't even think about not caring what time it is. You always care. You care in the morning about how long you have to get ready and out the door to beat the morning traffic. You care about what time class ends so you can short cut across campus and beat traffic. You care about how long until you have to head out for work, and when to leave, to get home for dinner in time.

Life with a car is satisfying, but very complicated. It made me realize how this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. I will plan out my own days. I will always be thinking about time and traffic. It teaches me that I have to put more thought into what I am doing or it will totally mess up my entire schedule. It has been very intense and a total wake up call to what life will be like as an adult. I now know how stressed out a person can be.

After all that though - I know I look good in my car. I think that was one of my favorite memories, the way my feet felt touching the ground. The way I felt like I was flying, as I walked away from the DMV.